If you are trying to rebuild your self confidence, is possible that a few setbacks are making things very hard for you. You could become discouraged and finally think you can’t have your self confidence back. If you look closely for a moment about this, well, it could seem that you have lost confidence in your ability to get back your confidence…. It may seem a joke, but if you are trying hard and your confidence is still lacking, maybe you have a few misconceptions about self confidence that prevent you from succeeding.
Many things can happen in our lives to trigger a confidence crisis. Filing an exam, losing a job or a valued relationship, losing that business order. You simply loose deeply confidence in yourself. Even handling small things is an hard topic. How to rebuild self confidence has a lot to do with taking back control of yourself and your life.
Why self confidence is important for you? Without self confidence you’ll feel you don’t have the skill to reach your goals. You won’t have the drive to fight for what you want. Probably you won’t have the clarity of goals you want to achieve either.
None will perform to his greatest potential if not backed by self confidence. Low self confidence will impair the functioning of your mind, and will lead to failure.
Everything is in doubt, everything is hard. All the skills and efforts are useless if confidence is lacking. Every difficult task will be a challenge and you won’t have the resilience to follow through. Nothing great was ever achieved by people who lacked confidence.
Do you lack self confidence? Does it come from low self esteem? Are you not believing in yourself? Are you lacking ability? Do you feel inadequate compared to your colleagues or friends? Or did you have some kind of trauma from your childhood? So where is your self confidence and where does self confidence come from?
The answer to this question comes from just one word – YOU!
Self confidence starts with you, your perception of yourself, what other people tell you about your actions or behavior, and what you think about what people tell you.
When your anxiety is taking over your life, everything becomes terribly difficult. Every problem is hard, any challenge seems too big, taking action seems an Olympic quest. The more time you persist in this situation without things getting better, the more your ability to confront the situation will lower and you’ll start escaping; procrastination will lock in and quickly you’ll feel deprived of your power and your ability to fix things. In other words: you’ll quickly lose your self confidence and self esteem. This is why having self confidence when anxiety is an issue, is always hard.
When Breaking the Loss Of Self Confidence / Anxiety Spiral
This is why you have to break this downgrading spiral as soon as possible: if you don’t recover your self confidence when anxiety is coming and you start lacking courage, then you’ll retreat and won’t take action; without action, things will become worst; you’ll feel less resourceful and you anxiety will worsen. Anxiety force you towards the uncomfortable situation you are facing, but if you won’t able to take action, your procrastination will increase and your personal power will reduce. After a while in this losing game you can come to feel like there is no way out. Your anxiety will start being pervasive and invalidating, and you’ll feel unable to do anything.
Living with low self confidence is like being in prison. Having zero self confidence makes you feel weak. Unsure of your abilities.
With many ugly negative thoughts that take off and take hold of your mind. Uncomfortable feelings arise and become frequent in your day.
The Negativity Personal Trap
These uncomfortable feelings last so long that you start trust them as reflecting something real. You start thinking you really aren’t able to confront things. Action becomes more and more hard. You start procrastinating.
You start trying relieving these bad feelings with short term pleasure strategies, like for example eating.
This attacks your self esteem. You feel weak and wrong.
You feel unable to take action. And even if you take action you mistrust your ability to sort things out, deal with the unexpected, being in control. Keep this for a short time, and you will soon you lose faith in your dreams. You feel you cannot ever do anything right.
We all have problems. We want to improve our lives. We want greater self confidence, ability, success. These things are hard to achieve. They require effort, discipline, patience and sometimes luck. You don’t know if you are able enough, if things will sort out as you hope.
No Silver Bullets
You can feel overwhelmed and hope that a magical solution could solve all your problems. So you look for everything can help you out there, for that magic silver bullet that will free you from your struggle.
The hard truth is that silver bullets don’t exist. Nothing will evaporate your problems with a zap. But there are for sure tips and strategies that can help you and will if you’ll apply them in your life.
In your life you are always facing challenges. There are moments where things will go right or wrong. Maybe your first job interview. Asking that girl out. A very important exam. Doing that trip alone. Maybe your throat became dry. Or your knees wanted to shake. Maybe you just wanted to leave everything as it was and alleviate that discomfort. For sure, you would have had the greatest unshakable self confidence in the world.
You were putting your skills on the line and confronting a risk. If you were successful, there could be great reward. But if you fail? Self-doubt was trying to discourage you.
You know, self confidence is essential in our lives; without it, we will not make the first attempt to do anything new. Without self confidence you can’t learn, so you can’t grow. Confidence allows us to move forward despite temporary discouragement. An unshakable self confidence will move us forward despite any discouragement. It’s the essential resource in confronting stressful situations, the difference between fighting or being overwhelmed. If you were unstoppable, what could you do?
Developing self-confidence on a daily basis, one aspect at a time, will help you to improve your overall ability to confront your challenges and unburden gradually your inner obstacles to the development of a true, deep, self-confidence.
Here are seven actions that will help to develop unshakable confidence. Just exercise one action each day of the week. Then repeat for a few weeks and see how it goes.
On Monday – Envision Confidence
Envisioning confidence begins to make confidence real in your experience. Imagine how you will feel and act if you already had the confidence you need for a specific situation. See yourself in your mind’s eye, acting with courage and conviction. Hold that picture in your mind, and your vision will start to become real. The more it will be real, the more you’ll achieve unshakable self confidence.
There are many instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you overcome life’s hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. In this case you have to regain self confidence as fast as possible.
I had this kind of experience a couple of years ago, when a professional setback got me K.O. and led me almost to depression.
As I stated in previous posts, without self confidence you go nowhere. Can you afford to lose your self confidence when you have a very big problem and find yourself without energy, options and time?