So you set your mind to getting self confidence back. Sometimes you work hard, but all you can see is that your resolution to be self-confident is not taking you anywhere.
When this happens, is very likely that you are indulging in one of the 8 self-confidence deadly mistakes. It is important to become aware of these seemingly harmless obstacles that have all the power to stop you in your path.
Let’s assess the possible reasons that you are not moving ahead in top gear.
1) Are you indulging in negative thinking?
Indulging in negative thinking is the first mistake you could do when you are getting self confidence back.
You couldn’t be aware of this, but of course every time you share time with a negative thought, your self confidence will loosen. You can look at this as a “mental diet”.
If you feel negative thinking is an issue for you, I suggest to:
- Journal your thought and their effects on your actions;
- Then work to retrain your mind to a more positive attitude; there are many ways to do this, for example recurring to affirmations or mantras or even self-hypnosis.
2) Are you complaining?
Complaining is a kind of spoken negative thinking. Complaining is the easier way to express dissatisfaction without action. You get into agreement with yourself that things are not working well and that’s all.
Well, if you journal your complaints and that what you are doing do overcome them, you’ll discover that the more you complain, the less action you take.
A more positive response is… choosing a more useful action!
Focus on what you are complaining. Than take action on that. If you are complaining about your job, take action about your job. If you complain against someone, find a way to talk to him.
Just take action, and you’ll be back in track in getting self confidence back.
3) Are you undisciplined?
Some people simply have the talent to waste a lot of time without realizing it. They lack the self-discipline to stop their actions that waste time.
Imagine a situation wherein you have a list of tasks to be completed successfully as a part of your confidence building program. However, the moment you enter your home you involuntarily grab the remote and start channel surfing on the idiot box. It’s only after an hour that you realize that you have been vegetating in front of the T.V in the time you had scheduled to do other tasks. You realize that you have already disturbed your schedule.
In a self-development program, it’s you and only you who has the power to change yourself. Nobody will come to monitor your actions and progress. If you won’t stick to your schedule in getting your confidence back, you’ll gradually lose confidence on your ability to stick to your goals. And your overall self confidence will go down.
Avoid temptations and stick to your schedule.
4) Are you lazy and keep procrastinating?
Procrastination is one of the greatest and most silent killers of confidence. It does not let you complete your jobs and tasks in time; things keep mounting and finally you get overwhelmed by all the many things that have piled up and need your attention.
Not being prompt and delaying important things till they become urgent makes you miss the opportunity of working on your confidence and puts you in danger of falling back again into your earlier cycle, thereby wasting all the effort and energy in getting self confidence back.
The very basics of building confidence start with listing little things that are doable. You gain more confidence to take on greater tasks and responsibilities by successfully completing the lighter tasks at hand.
Taking true action is the true key to getting self confidence back. You can fight procrastination even more by doing something you are tempted to procrastinate. See tip #3 on my “Top 6 tips to boost self confidence when you feel down” post.
5) Are you escaping from your duties or your challenges?
The final mistake in getting your self confidence back, is escaping. Taking action through your challenges and what you have to do is the final test for your self confidence. This action will tell your mind that you are strong enough to overcome difficulties, or that you are too weak and can’t do that.
Well, a very important point is that duties and challenges are not just a self confidence test. They’re also a way to temper your confidence to the point that nothing will stop you and you know that.
Just do your duties even if you find them too hard, and confront your challenges even if you find them too scary. See the four mental traps in a previous post.
Getting self confidence back: take action
So we have seen five ways you are not going to take action. These are the primary ways you are sabotaging your action and, finally, you success.
You can do other mistakes when you try to get your confidence back. You can be unprepared, you can have self confidence crisis, maybe you are putting yourself down. Give a look at these and other useful warning at scottmauz.com.
Finally, inaction is the only big mistake you can do. If you are not taking action right now, and know you should, then you are losing confidence.
Follow these tips and go ahead.
And you? What about your efforts? Did you do these or any other errors when working hard to get your confidence back? Let me know!
P.S. Don’t forget to sign up for my free 30 Days Courage and Self Confidence Challenge to learn how to restore your positive resource, develop courage and win your challenges.