A few decades ago, self confidence was just a shy children problem. Today self confidence is recognized as one of the most important skill for day to day survival and long term success. What did happen? How this can help us to sort out the most important key to self confidence?
Once upon a self-confidence
The adult world was quite different than today. Social stability, financial security, good perspectives and the promise of a never ending growing economy.
There was no real need for a profound self confidence in every average Joe. He was rewarded to be at his own place. The education at that time focused on repetition and obedience. The more you obey the better. The less you speak up, the better person you will be. To be an excellent executor you don’t need self confidence.
For kids things were different. Growing made them to confront countless experiences and a lack of self confidence made them quickly misfit with their school, or their friends, or their sport. Therefore, this was a serious child problem, to be addressed while waiting to grow and find his quiet place in society.
Adult society today
Nowadays, everything is different. The economic crunch, the social insecurity, the increased economic competition at global level, the changing digital world, everything is every day harder and different.
Poverty spreads, fear of losing job increases and with this the concern for our loved ones.
Things are much harder and changing quickly and this undermines everyone’s self-confidence.
In a changing and harder and harder environment, self confidence becomes the primary survival skill. With self confidence you will confront what is going to happen, you’ll acquire the new skills you don’t have yet but you do require, you’ll dare to go for things you believe in and you’ll dare to make mistakes and learn from them. If necessary, you’ll dare to forge ahead and take roads no one have ever taken before.
The key to self-confidence nowadays
How do we develop self confidence, if everything seems fighting against us?
You have to combine another skill with self confidence: resilience. The ability to go through hard times.
Combining resilience and self confidence you’ll be able to step through any situation, and stay there until you win. With resilience you won’t go back. With self confidence, you’ll then go one step forward. Be resilient in confronting your hard times with renewed self confidence every time. This is the more robust key to self confidence. See my post on the connection between confidence and resilience to get more info on this.
There are many ways to increase resilience when you have self confidence in mind. With my experience the two most important ones are relaxing and exercise.
Relax for resilience
People with low confidence level are often people who are stressed out. When you are in a confidence crisis things appears even harder than they are, and you’ll be even more stressed. Developing resilience requires an increasing ability to restore your resources, and relaxation is one of the most effective ways.
There are many ways to relax. Do whatever works for you. My preferred one is self hypnosis, as it works easily at deep level (if you want to know how to unlock your life with self-hypnosis check my related post) . But you can try other options, for example yoga.
If you prefer a more DIY approach, switch on some relaxing music and just sit there, with your legs cross, concentrate of breathing. Close your eyes and focus on every single breath you take. Imagine a white loving light filling your body, your mind and your soul as you inhale. Then imagine and feel the bad emotions and the confusion dissipate with every single breath you exhale.
Do this until you feel relaxed. Restoring resources is the first key to self confidence enabled by resilience.
Commit to walk every day
The other point is exercising. Walking every day for at least 30 minutes will help you restore your resources in many ways. It will unlock your energy and your vitality and this will make things easier for you. And this will increase automatically your self confidence.
The second very important point about daily exercise is that it will develop your resilience muscles. Take the commitment with yourself to walk every day, and follow through. The “follow through” part is where your resilience becomes tempered and this is the true key to self confidence. If you don’t have time, well this means you need this exercise even more than you think. Find that time, avoid doing something else, start walking every day and follow through.
Resilience is a cornerstone key to self confidence
If you develop the habit to relax and walk every day, your self confidence will develop steadily and you’ll feel much more stable. Your challenges will go smoother and things will become definitely easier. At a point you’ll realize your resilience will make you be able to at least survive any challenge, and this will be a self confidence booster per se.
Furthermore, combining resilience with the ability to recover from failure (see How to Rebuild Self Confidence After a Confidence Crisis in 3 Mindset Steps) will help you to persist through very hard times until things will become better.
Add to it the development of your courage, and you’ll soon discover that you’ll be able to go through any challenge and any storm.
And you? What are your preferred ways to restore your resources and be resilient with your challenges? How this affect your self confidence?
This is a kind of behavioral approach to self-confidence. You can explore a more profound approach to the inner sources of your self-confidence by learning about your subpersonalities.
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