Where Does Self Confidence Come From?

Do you lack self confidence? Does it come from low self esteem? Are you not believing in yourself? Are you lacking ability? Do you feel inadequate compared to your colleagues or friends? Or did you have some kind of trauma from your childhood? So where is your self confidence and where does self confidence come from?

where self confidence come from

The answer to this question comes from just one word – YOU!

Self confidence starts with you, your perception of yourself, what other people tell you about your actions or behavior, and what you think about what people tell you.

Where do you experience lack of self confidence?

If you look at your life thoroughly as a whole, you’ll discover that your lack of self confidence is local – this means it doesn’t take all your life, but you experience it in just a few areas of your life.

Maybe you could experience a lack of self confidence in your high ambitions. Or in your job. With your boss, or in meetings. Or in your love affairs. In being a good partner. In dealing with your children. Or in social situations, like public speaking.

The truth is that is very uncommon you lack confidence in all those areas at the same time.

So, take a minute and answer this couple of questions: where are you lacking self confidence? Where you feel really self confident, instead? What’s the difference? What makes you think in different ways in those two situations?

Problem with solutions to self confidence

All the solutions that look for self confidence outside of you, are doomed to fail.

All the solutions that take action outside your weak confidence area, will simply reinforce your thought that you are not able to solve it, so it will just increase your self doubt, your making excuses, your avoidance. They will increase your distance to the solution

All the solutions that won’t reset your mindset, won’t let you trying new things and won’t let you build a new confidence where you have none.

So confronting new challenges and understanding how to manage them is a key ability for building your confidence, especially if you already tried and failed.

What all the solutions for self confidence have in common

All the solutions to a reliable self confidence must deal with your mindset, with your experience of having a successful action in your weak confidence area and keeping action until you have a positive experience. This means rewriting what you think, what you do and how much you’ll persist.

You can rewrite your thinking with affirmations for self confidence, as I alredy shared.

But if you have already managed your mindset, where does self confidence come from? It comes from taking action the proper way.

Take a small challenge to develop self confidence

This means taking positive action to overcome your fears and you can do this is by taking on small challenges.

You have to dissociate your mind from the situations that lock in automatically fear. You can take a small step towards conquering this and if you’ll be able to, you’ll find that the result will be most likely not as bad as you think.

This will require some courage, but you’ll probably be surprised about how good you’ll feel and when this happens, your self confidence will instantly boost.

It’s very important to congratulate yourself when you’ve completed your first small challenge and for sure a small reward can help greatly.

Develop the habit of taking risks

The perceived risk of something happening as a result of your actions is usually the biggest barrier with self confidence.

Develop the habit of taking risks and winning your fear. This has to be done slowly, to avoid losing your grip and falling into new failures. Take it as a new small task, because building up your self confidence takes time, and only going steadily but slowly will give you the continuity you need to change gradually your experience  and to get your self confidence to where you want to be.

Your experience

So, where does self confidence come from? It comes from taking increasing small risks and having increasing small wins.

Self confidence problems are common for most people but you can definitely do something about it.

Don’t forget to sign up for my self confidence 30 day challenge below to discover how to build your courage and your self confidence every day with simple exercises.


Engage in the 30 Days Courage and Confidence Challenge!



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