If you are trying to rebuild your self confidence, is possible that a few setbacks are making things very hard for you. You could become discouraged and finally think you can’t have your self confidence back. If you look closely for a moment about this, well, it could seem that you have lost confidence in your ability to get back your confidence…. It may seem a joke, but if you are trying hard and your confidence is still lacking, maybe you have a few misconceptions about self confidence that prevent you from succeeding.
Misconception #1 – Confidence is feeling confident
Well, you do every kind of exercise, empowerment, mindset tuning, whatever, but you still don’t feel confident, so you think you are not. This is one of the most invalidating misconceptions about self confidence.
Well, the important point about confidence is not about how you do feel (which is however pleasant and gratifying), but what’s much more important is behaving confidently. If you behave like a confident person, but don’t feel confident inside, well, it doesn’t matter. You will reap the benefits of confident people, confronting challenges, never giving up, learning and finally winning.
So we could say instead: “Confidence is behaving like confident people”.
Misconception #2 – Self confidence means you are sure things will go well
You finally feel confident, you go for that challenge, but, at a point, you feel that things won’t go well. You lose your grip and start self doubting. Things become harder and harder, your self doubt increases, and finally you quit.
Thinking that you must be sure that things will go well is one of the wort misconceptions about self confidence you can have. Truly confident people don’t know how things will go and are not sure that things will go well. But they trust that whatever will happen, they’ll deal with it until at the end everything will go well.
So self confidence doesn’t require general positive thinking. It requires positive thinking in your ability to deal with that situation.
So we could replace this with: “Self confidence means you are sure you will do whatever it takes to make things go well”.
Misconception #3 – Lack of confidence comes from what happened to you in the past
We’ve seen that lack of confidence comes from something hard happening in your past. But what you experience right now as lack of confidence, doesn’t come from your past. It comes from what this past did to your self belief. So this comes from the meaning about you that you give to this past event.
Binding your lack of self confidence to your past is one of the most disempowering misconceptions about self confidence that can affect you life.
A more effective concept is: “My past doesn’t express my potential, my future starts now and I’m doing my best right here, right now”
Misconception #4 – I’m not enough
Not being enough smart, good, nice, intelligent or whatever you like is one of the many misconceptions about self confidence that will kill your initiative.
The world is full of people who weren’t enough; your drive and your ability to learn and choose how you respond to what happens, is far more important than your current skill level; check also my post about zero self confidence and your fear of not being enough
You can replace this misconception with “I can learn to be whatever I want”
Misconception #5 – I simply lack of confidence and this is how I am
Well, if you think lack of confidence is genetic I have a good news for you: having confidence is genetic, while lack of confidence is acquired. Just look to the young child trying to walk and the adult beaten by life.
You are born confident, and this is how you are in your inner core. Then, something happened and your confidence vanished. Well, if your confidence vanished and your confidence is in your inner core, then your confidence is able to come back. You have just to readjust your mindset. Thinking differently is just another misconception about self confidence that will lock your power.
So a better belief could be: “Even if I feel lacking confidence right now, I know that confidence is innate in me”.
These misconceptions about self confidence will sabotage you
You can now see how these misconceptions will sabotage your self confidence. They will lessen your power until you’ll be paralyzed. Start adopting a new mindset and new beliefs, like the suggested ones, and you’ll find your doubt being replaced gradually by self confidence.
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